Sitting in the Dark, A Sermon

Isaiah 9:1-4

But there will be no gloom for those who were in anguish. In the former time he brought into contempt the land of Zebulun and the land of Naphtali, but in the latter time he will make glorious the way of the sea, the land beyond the Jordan, Galilee of the nations. The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who lived in a land of deep darkness— on them light has shined. You have multiplied the nation, you have increased its joy; they rejoice before you as with joy at the harvest, as people exult when dividing plunder. For the yoke of their burden, and the bar across their shoulders, the rod of their oppressor, you have broken as on the day of Midian.

Matthew 4:12-23
Now when Jesus heard that John had been arrested, he withdrew to Galilee. He left Nazareth and made his home in Capernaum by the lake, in the territory of Zebulun and Naphtali, so that what had been spoken through the prophet Isaiah might be fulfilled: ‘Land of Zebulun, land of Naphtali, on the road by the sea, across the Jordan, Galilee of the Gentiles— the people who sat in darkness have seen a great light,and for those who sat in the region and shadow of death light has dawned.’ From that time Jesus began to proclaim, ‘Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.’

The light casting out the darkness is a great image for how our faith in God works sometimes. God is my light and my salvation. God delivers me from the darkness and shadows haunting me. I like these images and use them often to comfort myself.

But lately I’ve been wondering what is so horrible about the dark. There are times when being in the dark comforts me. With all the lights out, I can relax and focus on my breathing and my heart beat. I can think without the distraction of seeing the pile of things I need to do. In the dark, I rest when my head hurts or I am tired. In the dark I can listen better, whether music on my stereo or the words my husband is telling me. When it is dark, I can see better the lights that are dimmer or are far away from me.

What is scary to me about the darkness is what I don’t know. I don’t know what made that creaking sound in the living room. I don’t know how far I can walk before hitting my shin on the coffee table. Like many kids, I was afraid to sleep completely in the dark. With the hallway light glowing behind me, I would run from the door and make a flying leap onto my bed. I was scared there might be a man under my bed who would grab my ankle. I was afraid of what I couldn’t see but could only imagine. The darkness also feels unbearable to me when I am feeling all alone. Despite my desire to not waste energy, when I lived alone in seminary I would sometimes turn on all the lights in my apartment and turn on the television even though I wasn’t watching it… just because I had this strong realization I was alone. It is not the darkness itself that threatens us, it is the emotions that we associate with darkness that endanger us.

When our spiritual path is filled with darkness, what are we truly in danger of? When my life is going through lots of changes and hardships, what is it that casts shadows on my spirit? Just like walking in the dark, it is the fear of the unknown. I cannot see the bumps in my path, and yet like a child staring at the slightly open closet door, I imagine the worst possibilities. I am certain that there is something in the shadows waiting to get me. And when I am facing the unknown and my spirits are shaky, I can feel particularly isolated and alone.

Sometimes, we are not able to get out of the darkness right away. So much in our lives are not in our control. For better or worse, we don’t choose what family we are born into, we can’t control the craziness in society and the atrocities in the news. We don’t choose the time we are born or the time we die. We do not choose the time we get sick or lose a job. No matter how we try, we can’t always will ourselves out of the darkness. We don’t always know what to do or where to go. The unknown doesn’t always reveal itself to us just because we want it to.

How, then, do we live in the darkness? Is there a way to find rest in the dark? Is there a way to find safety and security in the dark?

As I got older, I became less and less scared to sleep in the dark. What has changed? I now trust the reality I can hear, touch and see. I trust the locks on my doors to keep out intruders and the dog to bark if a stranger is near. I know that the walls of my house are protecting me from the cold. And I avoid tripping over things in the dark by walking slowly and holding onto the doorjamb and wall as I walk. And best of all, I have a lamp next to my bed that is always within reach when I need the reassurance of light.

On our spiritual path, I trust God to protect me and guide me through the dark. I may not feel God’s presence, but I know God’s there. Just like in the dark when I cannot see the walls of my house or the locks on my door, I still know they are there. I know God is there. I lean on Jesus when I am afraid I will stumble or fall. Jesus is my touching stone in uncertain times and I know his love and wisdom will guide me when I cannot see the way. When the way is so dark and I feel so alone, prayer, worship and fellowship with my community are the lamps I turn on when I need the light of God’s lamp to reassure me. The lamp of God’s light is always there waiting for me to turn it on when I need it.

For as the psalmist says: God is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? God is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? For God will hide me in God's shelter in the day of trouble; God will conceal me under the cover of God's tent; God will set me high on a rock. May God’s light warm you and provide you comfort all your days. Amen.

Partners in Love, a wedding homily

Wedding Homily:


We use and hear the word love all the time. “Oh, I just LOVE that shirt” or “Oh, Brad Pitt is so dreamy, I LOVE him”. I have a friend that when she gets drunk, puts her arm around whoever is next to her and says “I LOVE you”. I think she means it when she says it. And we all should understand the difference between the love among family and love for objects or things, including sexy movie stars. But, I do believe that flinging the word around casually can be dangerous.

On the opposite spectrum, we have the fairy tale, media promoting ideal of true love. How many little girls and boys watch Disney movies and think that all their dreams will come true if they find the perfect prince or princess, have a fancy wedding, and make lots of babies? And how many of them become broken hearted, disillusioned, and start thinking something is wrong with them, because they can’t find true love?

As a pastor, I truly believe that the reason we are all put here on earth is to love one another. However, we weren’t put here to love our favorite TV show or jeans. And our lives will never revolve around only one person.

Now, there are wonderful moments in our lives where we think that we will never love someone as much as we love right now. These moments, often at times of birth or new romance are blessings. When we see a new baby for the first time or are walking along with a goofy smile on your face because you get to see your new love. .. Those are moments where love overwhelms and overflows.

But what I suggest to you, and what I think God blesses us with, is the ability to expand our heart each time we love to fit more people in it. Of course, I don’t mean the literal beating heart. What I mean is the place inside of us, the spirit or soul within us, that expands and grows exponentially to fit the people in our lives.

We are God’s creation and created in God’s image. And I believe that God’s love for us is limitless and we are given that same capacity to love large. That doesn’t mean that love answers everything. If you listen to the wedding vows carefully, it isn’t all “Happily Ever After”. In fact, there is more about standing beside each other in the storms of life than there is about all the gushy, mushy stuff that little girls dream of.

There has been love between E. and D. for a while now. They have already stood beside each other through many storms. There have been hard tragedies, especially the loss of T. But their love was there. There have been scary heart-wrenching moments, like when D. had his heart attack. But their love was there. And there have been days, we all know it’s true for them and every couple, where they don’t really like each other that much. But their love was there. And that love overflows and includes their sons and granddaughters, their parents, family and friends. They do not stand here as an island, joined only to each other. When they make a commitment to each other to continue loving and being partners through life, you all are included in that.

As we go through the vows, I encourage you to remember not only what I’ve said, but also what the Scripture says. The Song of Solomon says “Set me as a seal upon your arm; for love is as strong as death, passion as fierce as the grave. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it.”

Some Words on Infant Loss

I once again used the 1 Corinthians 13 Text. This was for a dear friend's baby.

In this evening’s reflection, I’m going to pass on a couple ideas for you to ponder tonight. Please be patient with my tears.

God is very different for all of us. What I mean when I say "God" is not the same as what you mean. People who attend the same church or grow up in the same family will have very different views of who God is. The same goes for the meaning and purpose of life and death. Some of this is because of the particular events that shape our perspective of the world. Some of this is because of the language and words we learn. The list of reasons why we all think differently about God, life and death is endless… and, surprisingly enough, religion is only a small part of it.

This week a tragic event occurred that has shaped everyone here in this room and a few outside it too. A baby has died before being able to experience life outside the womb. No matter how you are related to Baby G, his death has impacted you and how you see life and death. However, it has impacted no one as much as it has his parents and brother. There will be countless days of tears as they face a future on earth without Baby G beside them. But there will also be moments of gratitude and appreciation for the time Baby G did spend with them, the sonogram pictures, listening to his heartbeat, the joy of adding to their family, and the love they felt for him.

Love is a gift that we sometimes forget to cherish and appreciate as much as we should. As a society, we gather at weddings and funerals and maybe an occasional holiday or two as a sign of caring, of love. However, we forget in the daily activities of life to show that same appreciation. The time with Baby G was very brief. But it was filled with love. Each moment he was here his mother, father and brother made sure that Baby G felt loved and cherished, that he knew his presence in their family was anticipated with great joy and hope.

When Baby G died, he was cocooned in his mother’s womb, their heartbeats only inches from each other. He did not die alone and isolated, without love or comfort. Just the opposite, he was as close to another human being as any of us will ever get.

I suggest to you that one way this tragedy may shape you is an understanding of God as love, of the meaning of life and death being love. Love never ends. Love is what keeps us going, day after day, tragedy after tragedy. Love is what will get you through this. Love never ends.

The absence of Baby G in our lives will be horribly hard. But if we see God as love, if the meaning of it all is love, then perhaps part of that love is also letting go. Most of the people we will have to let go of in our lives will not be so sudden and so tragic, but letting go is part of being a parent, it’s part of being a child. There is not a part of life that does not entail letting go of someone you love. The permanence of Baby G’s absence may make it feel different somehow. However, the universe is what, over 13 billion years old? The years we will be separated from him will be brief in comparison. So, this isn’t goodbye forever, this is until we meet again. Because Love NEVER ends. NEVER.

So, while we may never agree on who God is or what the meaning and purpose of life and death are, perhaps we can all agree that part of the answer is love.

Candle Lighting Memorial Service

Here is a memorial service for our hospice that I put together. The opening lines and the prayer have bits that are borrowed or rephrased from someone else. The reflection message is mine.

Introduction: Good afternoon. It is good to see you all here. This service is to remember and celebrate the lives of people that we at S_hospice have cared about. This includes patients we cared for as well as family and friends of our staff members. We appreciate you being here for this service. After the service, there will be a reception in a room across the lobby from us. We hope that you will stay and visit with us. For some of you, it’s been a long time since we’ve seen you. After the service, we invite you to take one of the poinsettias decorating the front. This is our gift to you for the holiday season.

Opening: Please join me in the opening words printed inside your bulletin.

In the hallways of my memories and the canyons of my heart,
I will always remember you.
In the soft snow of winter and the glow of Christmas,
I will always remember you.
In the dawn of spring and the dawn of fall,
I will always remember you.
On birthdays, anniversaries, and ordinary days,
I will always remember you.
When I am lonely and tempted to be bitter,
I will always remember you.
When I am disheartened and confused,
I will always remember you.
When good news is too good to keep to myself,
I will always remember you.
In the candlelight of Christmas night,
I will always remember you.


Reading:
1 Corinthians 13
13If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast,* but do not have love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. 7It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. 9For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; 10but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end. 13And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.

Message:
In order to feel loss and grief, we must have first loved. One consequence from loving someone is missing them when they are gone. Sometimes that sorrow can be so heavy, that we forget the other consequences of love. We forget the ecstatic joy of feeling connected to someone so special. We forget the bond that forms from years and years of spending time together, wading through life’s moments together. We forget hard won trust and faith in each other.

Sometimes it isn’t that we forget these things, but that the loss of them is so powerful that the memory is too much to bear. It weighs heavy in our minds and makes getting through day to day activities hard. Life moves on without us in small or big ways and it seems the world keeps on wanting to move us and change when we just want to stay put.

Sometimes, though, other emotions get in the way. Guilt and anger being the most common, are really the opposite ends of the same emotion. From an early age I’ve been taught to take on the responsibility of things I have no control over and that of course brings about guilt. And sometimes guilt never really makes sense up here, but we can’t ignore it in here. The other end of the spectrum is anger, which usually entails blaming someone for something, whether it is his fault or not. Anger also doesn’t always make sense.

All of these things I’ve mentioned are part of the roller coaster of grief and we all ride it differently. Grief is something that everyone goes through, but is different for each person as well.

What I want to lift up today is the thought that our grief is part of a valuable gift, the gift of love. For anyone who’s loved someone, you know that love does not mean you never get angry and want to strangle that person. It doesn’t mean that you don’t get sad or disappointed or need some time away from them. Love includes all of this and it also includes all that Paul talks about in his letter to the Corinthians: kindness, patience, acceptance, endurance, and belief. And these are the things we hold valuable in our love, even after death.

As we enter the holiday season, the grief that comes with love will be strong at times, but the opportunity to remember the precious parts, the kindness, patience, acceptance, endurance and belief will also be there. I encourage you to embrace those memories. But if it’s not time yet, that’s okay. January is just around the corner and all the music and decorations that trigger grief will be gone. But your love will not. Because love endures all things. Love never ends.


Candlelighting:
With all the darkness in our lives, love is the flame that lights the way. Light is a symbol of life and love in many religions throughout the world and time. Today we light a candle in memory of the flame that each of these people represented in our lives. Many people were not able to attend today but asked that we light a candle for their loved one. Two of our staff will be saying the names. When your loved one’s name is said, please have one person from your family come up to light the candle. Take the candle lighter from the staff person and light the candle. Then, say one word or phrase that summarizes who that person is to you or the memory you have of them. If you cannot think of a word or phrase to say, that’s okay. Hand back the candle lighter and sit down. Staff members will light the candles for those absent.

Moment of Silence

Prayer:
God, you gave us the ability to love, to remember, to honor and to miss those in our lives. Open our hearts and eyes to see more clearly, to remember more honestly, and to love in new ways. Give us the ability to celebrate the lives we miss while we also voice our grief and sadness. Give us strength to trust You when we cannot understand. Strengthen our belief in the power of your love and the life ever after. Amen.

Blessing:
May the love you feel for those gone light your way and may the love you feel for those still here give you joy, and may the love of those you have yet to meet give you hope. Go in peace.

A Season for Receiving... A Funeral Sermon

(Names are changed for privacy. This is probably the most traditional language I ever use pertaining to salvation... it was per the family's request. I hope that I made it my own and not untrue to my theology.)

Ecclesiastes 3-A Time for Everything
1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: 2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, 3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, 6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, 7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, 8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him. 15 Whatever is has already been,and what will be has been before; and God will call the past to account.

John 14 1"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God[a]; trust also in me. 2In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. 3And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. 4You know the way to the place where I am going." 5Thomas said to him, "Lord, we don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?" 6Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me”

I met Daisy at the beginning of this year. She’d been living at the nursing home for a while already and everyone there loved her. And I could see why. She always had a huge smile for anyone who passed by or helped her with things. I noticed when I sat with her in the dining room, people would stop by or talk to her just to see her smile. She wasn’t able to tell me many stories, though I learned some things through her daughter Josie. So, mostly, I’d sit with her and hold her hand, asking occasional questions or complimenting her on her outfit.

When I sat with her, I contemplated what it must be like to be where she was right at that moment, after 98 years of life. She had worked hard all her life, the first half devoted to the work of keeping a house full of kids and husband clothed, fed, and happy. And now she lived with people who are responsible for keeping her clean, clothed and fed.

It seems her life had many seasons, just as every person’s does. What is the purpose or meaning to these seasons of life and what can we learn from them? Does God have something we are supposed to learn or experience from each of these seasons? I believe God does, but I’m not so sure we always see it.

Many of us will live full lives that, like Daisy, start with being cared for by others and end being cared for by others. In between those times, most of our lives will be focused on caring for others, through work and family. Society teaches us that the most important accomplishments we do will be when we are working and taking care of family… but that makes old age seem like a waste of time and a hardship to endure. What God wants us to remember through this passage in Ecclesiastes is that the being cared for and caring for others are both important. We like to think about the happy times when all decisions are made by us and life goes according to plan. But life doesn’t always go according to plan and I don’t always get to choose how my life goes.

I don’t know about you, but I have an independent streak a mile long. I have been trained since child birth to work towards getting things done and being generous to others in need. But when I’m down and out, it’s hard for me to receive with grace and gratitude the generousness of others. I feel weak, useless and without power. But in those times life seems to have no meaning, when bad things happen to good people, God knows the meaning and purpose of it all. God understands our suffering and our struggle and will help us through it.

The times most people become closer to God is during times of helplessness. When there is no one else to turn to, God is there. And when we live our lives to the fullest, we are living in Christ. So, like Christ, we will be raised and taken care of as a child. As adults, we will care for others, as Jesus showed us in his ministry. And while Jesus never got to be old, he did allow for others to give generously to him, just as Doris had and others will. The woman anointing his feet with oil, Mary and Martha hosting him in their house and feeding him. To receive the gifts of others when we have nothing is a very sacred act that God wants us to do. It is hard, humbling, and not without discomfort. But to do so with a generous and gracious heart is saintly.

So, while I did not get to learn from Daisy’s wisdom on flowers or get to eat her fresh baked bread, I did learn a great deal from her. She received the help and care of the staff at the nursing home with a bright smile and cheerful heart. I watched others brush her hair and wipe her mouth between meals. I pushed her wheelchair on walks and back to her room. Even when breathing was hard work and you could tell she was hurting, she would smile at me and say thank you.

In John 14, through Jesus, God tells us that there is a place waiting for us after this life, if only we were to rely upon the grace of Christ. Once again, even upon death, we must rely upon another to get us where we need to be. To trust so completely on another is hard work and God knows it. In today’s world we are taught to not trust anything we can’t see with our own eyes. But the Holy Spirit can’t be seen and the work of God is only apparent to those who believe. I invite you to place your trust in Jesus. I invite you to put yourself in the care of God and see where your life and your death will take you.

I’m comforted to know that Daisy is a Christian. Through her acts of receiving graciously I experienced the presence of God in her life. And through her baptism, she will continue to be in the presence of our Lord and Savior. Amen.

The Church's Responsibility: What we can learn from Hagar's Story

Genesis 16. Delivered at Englewood Baptist Church on May 31, 2009

When Micah invited me to preach and told me about the Women of the Bible series, I got very excited. Micah and his family speak fondly of you all, well, Elizabeth does and I’m sure if Annelise could talk, she would as well. So, I’m grateful for a chance to meet you, of course. However, not often does a pastor tell me… pick any female character of the bible and preach on her. That is an extra special treat.


I chose Hagar because I have studied her more than any other woman in the Hebrew Scriptures. From class work to a very long thesis paper I wrote, I became fascinated with what her story could tell us as contemporary people of faith. Who is she to us?

Many scholars and Sunday School lessons talk about the story of Sarah and Hagar or the story of Isaac and Ishmael. I can understand how that happens. Hagar is just the vessel of the first born son of Abraham… and it is Abraham who is the chosen one of God, not Hagar. Or so we all are told.

But try to forget everything you remember about the story and focus just on Hagar. What do you see? The biggest thing I see in Genesis 16 is that God speaks to Hagar, God names her son and Hagar names God. Does this chapter have God speaking to Sarah or even to Abraham? No. God comes to Hagar. God names Ishmael, meaning “God hears”. And Hagar, a young foreign non-Hebrew slave woman speaks to God and names God El-Roi, meaning “God sees”. She is not the supporting role in this story. Hagar is the main character.

The next thing I see is a tragic story that is hard to think about. Hagar is forced to have sex with her 86 year old slave owner and beaten by the slave owner’s wife because she became pregnant, at the wife’s insistence. I can understand why Hagar ran away. But why does God tell her to return to her oppressors and abusers? This is a hard one for me to think about because I want God to be the liberator of all people and a God of love and justice. But Hagar’s situation is complicated and God can see a bigger picture.

So, how can we understand Hagar in a context that makes more sense? What faces of women who live today might reflect Hagar’s story for us? I was raised in a very conservative church that oppressed women to the extreme and if Hagar was born in this century, I can see her as a woman in that community.

Women are not allowed any power in the church, let alone to be ministers. Well, I take that back, they can organize the nursery and clean the church, except the altar area, where the male deacons can enter. They must submit all decisions about their life to their fathers until they marry, when the husband is the lord and ruler of her. Personally, that sounds like a gift-wrapped made pretty form of slavery. Women are strongly discouraged to divorce and strongly encouraged to put up with emotional, verbal and even physical abuse to keep a marriage together. And the justification of this slavery is that women are the source of all evil in the world and deserve the punishment of childbirth. Their wickedness will distort their thinking, so men must guide and discipline them. Any other form of thought, belief or culture will not be tolerated, because of its corruptive influence.

As you can see, I am no longer with that church. I have moved on and found another church community. But for Hagar, there was no other community. And I have seen women in the church I grew up in feel that way too. There is nowhere else to go. Women will put up with a lot in order to be with their kids, to provide them with food, security and shelter. I also don’t want you to think that life in my childhood church was horrific all the time. I enjoyed playing and learning with other kids. I laughed and was loved by many. And I know many women who are loved and cared for within that church community, despite their doctrine about women. For Hagar, when God tells her to return to her slavery, perhaps God knows that there is no place else for her and her baby right then. Perhaps God knows there are others in that community who will care and nurture her and her baby, despite her status as a slave woman.

Hagar is reflected in our own lives as well. There are people in our everyday lives that we must submit to, just as God tells Hagar to submit to Sarah. And it isn’t always comfortable or pleasant. There are our bosses and supervisors, our teachers and law enforcement officers, and sometimes it really, really hurts to be under their direction. Being disciplined, like Hagar, for something that is not your fault or that they told you to do in the first place happens often in today’s world. People with power over us will tend to be tempted to abuse it. That does not make it right. And in no way am I suggesting that any person should ever have to put up with sexual advances or being beaten. But there are times that waiting for a better moment will increase your chance of improving your situation.

Those who counsel battered women know this as well. If a woman leaves with no plan, the likelihood that she will be caught, beaten and/or killed is high. It makes sense if you think about it. Hagar ran with no plan or resources for her or her baby. If she went back and waited, she still would have no choice about sexual advances or beatings, but she would have a choice on how she saw herself. And now, she can return to her community and say to herself, “I am carrying a baby named by God and God spoke to me, a foreign slave woman.” She now has a purpose bigger than herself or her slavery.

Keeping those thoughts in mind, I pondered throughout this week about who we are in Hagar’s story. Now, there is of course the privileges of being white for most here and for some here of being a man. We’ve all heard, or at least I hope so, of the ways we assume that our privilege is a way of life for everyone when it is not. But what I want to focus on is the idea that Abraham’s tribe was considered the chosen people of God, the people who live on the faith and hope of God’s promise. You, Englewood Baptist Church, and I are the chosen people of God who live on the faith and hope of God’s promise. We are beloved children of God and are reminded of that every Sunday, every church picnic, every baptism and every celebration of life at a funeral. Scholars disagree about whether Hagar, as a slave, was considered part of Abraham’s faith family or not. Perhaps who Hagar is in today’s world is the custodian or cleaner of the church. Sometimes the employees of a church are members and sometimes they aren’t.

But another contemporary picture I see of Hagar is a woman raised in the church, any church really… because we are all at risk of hurting others. Maybe this imagined woman was baptized here and felt forced to participate in the church community. Perhaps she received unwanted advances from men or boys in the church. Maybe the other kids make fun of her for wearing different clothes, talking funny, or having a different culture or skin color. Perhaps her parents or Sunday School teachers told her she was stupid or that Jesus wouldn’t love her if she were a bad child. There are so many places for a child or adult to be hurt by the church community. We are human, after all. And we sometimes don’t think about how what we say or do will affect someone else.

Someone I know told me a story how the church she had been a member of for decades sent her a letter requesting she either give money or attend church right away, or else they would take her name off the membership rolls. Granted, she had not attended or given money in a few years, but in that time, she had been through a traumatic divorce, where her husband had left her with a large homestead to take care of as well as her restaurant business, let alone all the turmoil of losing her husband and partner. She had no time to attend church and no money to spare either. That the church sent her that impersonal letter, after years of being a part of them, devastated her and now she wants nothing to do with the church because of it.

We are taught from a very young age that the church is supposed to be a sanctuary and a safe place, a place where people reflect God’s love and caring. And so often we who are the church are not capable of holding so high a standard. We are not God. We make mistakes. We have biases and prejudices that we wouldn’t recognize even if they bit us in the face. People will get hurt. What can we do about it?

I left the church I was raised in around the time I entered high school. I did not turn my back on God, however, and I did not take my decision to leave lightly. All I knew is that my anger and sadness and sense of betrayal was so great, I could not feel God in that place or with those people anymore. For almost a decade, I became part of the now popular “spiritual but not religious” group. I sought out wisdom from every other major religion but Christianity and it took an amazingly open campus minister in college for me to see that there were other church homes and other Christian communities I might fit in.

Hagar’s story continues on past what we read today. Once again, she and her son are cast out of the tribe, but this time with resources, such as a skin of water and bread. It doesn’t last long and God hears her cries in the wilderness and shows her a well of water and promises her that everything will be alright. She and her son not only survive in the wilderness on their own, they thrive and prosper under God’s blessing.

As a chaplain, I meet people almost every day who no longer belong to a church family, for one reason or other. From the elderly patients in hospice who moved to be close to their kids and are unable to attend a new church in order to join to the family members of these patients who either disagree with this or that doctrine, or perhaps have been abused or neglected by the church. These people have been cast out into the wilderness just like Hagar. The forms I fill out for Medicare ask me the reason I visit people. And on 95% of them I check the boxes that say spiritual isolation and loneliness. There are so many people who are isolated and feel like no one hears their cry for spiritual companionship.

Yet, many move on and find other ways to be fulfilled spiritually and socially. “Spiritual but not religious” people often have put together a hodge podge of beliefs from their Sunday School lessons to popularized meditation from other religions. They often say that they find God in places other than church. They may even be uncomfortable with the language we Christians use, such as God, Jesus, Sin, Prayer. But in their place are words like Higher Power, Challenges, Teacher and Meditation. I don’t know about you, but those sound similar to my words of God, Jesus, Sin and Prayer. Is it possible that these wanderers of the wilderness really HAVE been talking with God all along? Is it possible that God speaks to those OUTSIDE of church, OUTSIDE of baptism, OUTSIDE of accepted society? Is it possible that people who claim no religion, who have no church or pastor or even use different words than us actually TALK to GOD?

So, here’s the REALLY tough part. What are we, the community of faith, those who believe in the hope and promise Jesus gave us… what are we supposed to do about all this? What wisdom do we learn from Hagar’s story? How can we act upon the wisdom that God’s word gave us?

First of all, be reassured that God speaks to each of you. Be reassured that God listens to you. Like Hagar, God never abandons you, even in your own wilderness. You may be sitting right there in the pew and be going through your own spiritual wilderness and no one here even realizes it. But God does. Be reassured that God is speaking to you. What do you hear? What will you say? What will you do?

And through that reassurance, there should be a desire not only to share the good news with others, but to LIVE the good news as well. Demonstrate to the lonely and isolated that God hasn’t abandoned them. Demonstrate to the spiritually or physically wounded and betrayed that through our imperfections, the Church, OUR community of faith, has something to offer them. Reassure your children and newly baptized that this church is a place to grow together and demonstrate to them that their bad experiences are heard and acted upon and that their questions and doubts of faith are normal and okay.

Go into the wilderness willingly and learn to find God there. Find out what these desert nomads, these “spiritual but not religious” people are thinking and experiencing. Learn their language so that you not only may interpret to us, your community of faith, but also that you may share your own faith story with them.

Hagar isn’t the only one in the bible who walks through the wilderness, is she? Read your bible. Know your faith and tradition. And invite with an open heart those who may have been cast out or forgotten, whether they are on your membership rolls or not.

And may the love of God, the hope in Jesus Christ, and the motivation of the Holy Spirit comfort and bless you your own journey. AMEN.

What is Love?... A sermon for memorial service

1 Corinthians 13
13If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast,* but do not have love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. 7It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. 9For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; 10but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end. 11When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. 12For now we see in a mirror, dimly,* but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. 13And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.

This scripture is usually read at weddings, because weddings are about love, or should be at least. However, grieving and loss are about love as well. To be grieving a loss means you have experienced some type of love or caring in your life. If we think of the grief in our lives as a pool of emotions, including love, then every time we enter an experience of loss, we add drops or floods of grief to the pool, depending on how close we are to the loss.
I think of that image often in moments of loss. I think about what all goes into that pool to make such an intense experience. So many emotions and memories and regrets and hopes are added to the mix. Often there is anger, sometimes for being left behind alone, sometimes for unresolved arguments. Often there is guilt or regret; those “if only” statements that haunt us when we try to go to sleep. There is the sense of shock or disbelief that the future you imagined with your loved one can no longer happen. And unanswerable questions can plague us… “What is the meaning of all this? What is the point of life if there is death and suffering? Who am I now that they are gone?” We may even have questions about God and faith may be shaken.
But in our emotional shock or despair, we can forget about the most important ingredients of that pool. Gratitude that this person touched our lives, no matter how briefly. Gratitude that this person is not suffering anymore. The Joy that that person brought to our lives. And, of course, most important ingredient of all is Love. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
However, love is not just about pink hearts and red roses. Love can be a struggle and can hurt sometimes too. 1 Corinthians 13 is referenced when we celebrate all the warm fuzzies that come with love (like at weddings). But I also think of all the fights I heard my now divorced parents having and the huge fights my mom and I had when I was a teenager. We’re all human. We all make mistakes and for some, saying the words “I love you” is hard. But love is what keeps us together even when things aren’t pretty.
Paul says “Love never ends”. Our bodies will come to an end, our knowledge and ability to communicate may come to an end. The world we know will come to an end someday. But Love never ends. Life and death are mysteries we may never fully understand. In fact, we may never fully understand love. But as the scripture says, we are nothing without love. Love is what gives life meaning. Our relationships with one another and the feelings that evokes is what makes this crazy scary world worthwhile.
Paul tries to define what love should be… “patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.” These are things we not only strive for, but also greatly desire in our relationships. And it is also what we greatly miss or regret about lost relationships. We are greatly impacted by the loss of that companion or confidant that you know loved you as well as the loved one that you regret harmful things said or done.
Because of the love that came from your relationship with the one who has passed, you are transformed into someone new and different than before you knew them. Their love is a part of you and the memories that are stored inside you guide and teach you along the way of your journey.
Love “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” Because these are a part of love, then they are also a part of grief. Within that pool of mixed emotions and experiences is also endurance, faith, and hope. Maybe you have already felt these things in your life, or perhaps it isn’t time to swim in that part of the pool yet. But they are there. We do not know much about the future, but we do know that we will not be the same people we are now, swimming in the pool of grief. For remember, love never ends. Love endures all things. “And now faith, hope, and love abide, and the greatest of these is love.” Amen.

From Despair to Transformation: Easter Sermon 2008

John 20: 1-18
Today is the day we celebrate the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus the Christ. Sometimes I think we, at least mainline Protestants like myself, forget that Easter is not about Christ's ascension into heaven. When we say “Christ is risen, Christ is risen indeed!” we are not talking about Christ rising into heaven. We are talking about Christ's rising from the dead. This denial of death is the ultimate exclamation of our faith in a living God. We radically claim that the execution of Jesus was not the end of the Christian story but only the beginning. Christ's presence among his disciples did not end with the death of his body. He refused to let the authorities of his world have the last word.


Jesus' story resonates in every person's life in some way or another. The story of Jesus appearing to the distraught Mary Magdalene is a story of Christ giving hope to someone in the midst of despair. To theologians who study concerns for the marginalized and oppressed, this is an important demonstration of God's love in the world. One such theologian, in response to concern for women in the world, says the goal is to “maintain, without glamorizing or glorifying suffering, that pain is not the end of the story... It is to offer and encourage a new vision.” The torture and despair Jesus suffered is not the end of the story. Jesus returns to Mary and offers the hope only God can give us in our time of need. Jesus returns to complete his story and share his vision for a better world... a world that would never forget his name, never forget his death, never forget his message.

Lest we forget his message, let me remind you. There is one above all the others that summarizes why Jesus was here, why Jesus was willing to die. Listen to the Gospel of Matthew:

34 When the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together, 35and one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. 36‘Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?’ 37He said to him, ‘ “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.” 38This is the greatest and first commandment. 39And a second is like it: “You shall love your neighbour as yourself.” 40On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.’

Love God. Love neighbor. Love self. Jesus' life and death exemplified this Great Commandment in an unforgettable way. Every parable told, every miracle performed, every sermon preached led to this moment where Christ demonstrates to us what LOVE is.

Marjorie Suchocki sums it up it in her book God, Christ, Church. She says

“On that cross we see supremely the power of love which is revealed by Jesus to the world. The seeds of the resurrection are sown on the cross as love refuses to succumb to distortion or annihilation; Jesus continues to love, through deepest pain. Does God love so strongly, even in the midst of pain? How can this intensity of the manifestation of love be exempted from the revelation of the nature of God? Through the cross we see not only that God's love is stronger than death, but that God in love endures the pain of death, and that God's love is unconquered by death.”

Suchocki goes on to explain how every action we do, as beings created in the image of God, directly affect God as Christ's execution affected God. When we act out of anything other than love, we are denying the very essence of who God is, why Jesus was here, why Jesus died.

Let us also not forget that today is not just about celebrating the amazing acts of Jesus the resurrected, as if he were a great magician. It is about rejoicing and giving praise to God. Jesus may be the manifestation of God's love, the incarnation of God, but GOD is the source for this love we feel. From God flows all our altruistic desires and compassionate empathy. God is the resurrector and Jesus is the resurrected. Even death cannot stop Jesus from being with us. God conquers death and continues to manifest that ultimate love through the risen Christ.

We are not perfect beings. Far from it. It is so easy to be swallowed up in today's world of global terror and suspicion, today's world of consumerism and individualistic apathy. It is easy to be caught up in the daily concerns about schedules and paying bills and tragedies such as losing of a job or a loved one can seem to consume us. The burden of our own despair can weigh us down. Before we can even rejoice in God's unending love, we need Jesus to yell our name at us, like he did with Mary. He shouted “Mary!” as if to tell her “Wake up! In your despair you cannot even see me… the divine vision of hope standing before you!”

Has God ever had to slap you awake? You know exactly what I mean. It may have been news of an illness, a near-miss with death, the birth of a child. I know I've had God shout at me a time or two. “WAKE UP REGAN! Don't you realize all the blessings in your life? Don't you realize how important relationships and love are in this crazy scary world? Where are your priorities?” God doesn't stop there with me. And Jesus doesn't stop there either. He tells Mary to go and tell others about his resurrection... the incarnation of God's love, of the world's hope. TESTIMONY! Mary Magdalene was the first to give the good news of Christ's resurrection. And like her, we must not be silent about it, we must bear witness to God's love and hope for the world as well!

Can you imagine a world where people shared stories of blessings and miracles and love manifest instead of the endless stories of fear, violence and hatred? Have you watched television news lately? Horrific. Terrifying. Disturbing. Now, I don't recall Jesus asking Mary to forget the horrors of his death or even to dry her tears. The pain that we suffer, that we bear witness to in the world is real and strips us down to the bare essential parts of ourselves so that we can be transformed by God's love. Our vision sharpens and our hearing becomes clear. God yells “Hey you!” And we are open to receive Christ, the illumination of hope for the world, for us, for you, just as Mary was open to receive Christ that Easter morning.

So, don't let the despair weighing you down be the end of your story, but the beginning. Even death could not stop Jesus from sharing God's love. Allow the hardships in your life to be the catalyst for change. Allow the closing of one door be the opening of another. In life, there will be loss, there will be pain and there will be tears. However, there will not be a moment where you are alone. For even if you cannot see him, just as Mary could not at first see him, Christ is there. Hope and God's love is there. Allow for the transformation of the resurrection inspire you to new life. Amen.

Sincere Prayer, a sermon

Sincere Prayer, a sermon delivered October 28, 2007

Luke 18:9-14

He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and regarded others with contempt: ‘Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax-collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, was praying thus, “God, I thank you that I am not like other people: thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax-collector. I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all my income.” But the tax-collector, standing far off, would not even look up to heaven, but was beating his breast and saying, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!” I tell you, this man went down to his home justified rather than the other; for all who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted.’
In today’s gospel reading, Jesus tells a parable about a Pharisee and a tax collector praying. The moral of the story is clearly stated at the end. He tells us the humbled will be exalted and the exalted will be humbled. So, what else is there to talk about? If it were that easy, however, I’m not sure Jesus would have to tell us a parable to get the message across. So, maybe looking from a different angle might help us struggle for deeper meanings into this story Jesus told. To help us with that, let me tell you a different story.
Two men went inside a church to pray, one a minister and the other a drug dealer. The minister, standing right before the cross, prayed for the blessings he and his church received, for the financial and charitable giving of the church’s members, the new addition to their building and the great work being done there. The drug dealer, at the back of the sanctuary, with bowed head, clutched his chest and whispered “God, be merciful to me, a sinner.”
How does that change the parable for you? I know that for me, putting it into a modern day context drastically changes the way I feel about the text. In Jesus’ story, the Pharisees were not priests, but they were teachers and leaders in following the traditions of the Hebrew faith. They desired to bring the Tanakh, the Hebrew scriptures to the people, so they could listen and interpret together. They wished to take the word of God seriously and follow it with eager hearts. In those ways, they emulate many of the same traits the contemporary Christian ministers do. There are several modern examples of how a tax collector would be treated today. I chose one that I know challenges my own biases: a drug dealer. The tax-collector was not your friendly IRS agent, he was a henchman for the Roman Empire. He was not just a non-holy person, but an unclean person, a despised sinner of their world who disobeys God. I imagine that while not identical, the drug dealer of today’s world and tax collector of their world, might have some things in common. Because in my mind, whether it’s fair or not, a drug dealer is not a victim, but someone who takes advantage of other people. So, it’s hard for me to imagine a drug dealer desiring forgiveness and mercy from God, let alone God granting it so readily. If it weren’t for the words of Jesus here and in other stories, I’m not sure I would think it’s possible. But Jesus not only tells us it is possible, but that God prefers the type of prayer the tax collector made.
Jesus says that just because I am a “good” person, just because I am NOT like “them”, the thieves, rogues, adulterers, tax-collectors… or drug dealers… does not mean I am favored in the eyes of God. Attending church every week does not a good prayer make.
Not only that, through this parable, he tells us that saying a prayer is not the same as meaning the prayer. He’s not saying that all prayers of blessing and thanksgiving are unheard by God. God does hear our praises and thanks. He’s saying that the Pharisee was not truly open to the voice and presence of God. Notice, Jesus describes the tax collector’s prayer in detail, saying he “would not even look up to heaven, but was beating his breast” while all he says of the Pharisee is that he “was standing by himself”. Perhaps there was nothing of note to the Pharisee’s emotional expression, though by his smug words, I can imagine all kinds of arrogant postures. But Jesus demonstrated the tax collector’s vulnerability and openness to God, even though he probably wasn’t even sure if God would listen. I’m not sure I can I imagine what a tax collector’s life would have been like back then… I’m not even sure I really can imagine a drug dealer’s life today, for that matter. But I would imagine that in their lives there may be types of pain and suffering I’ve never experienced. To lay oneself before a God I wasn’t even sure existed, let alone could see me, if I was that drug dealer, I’m not sure I could take such a risk and be so vulnerable as to pray for mercy.
At every worship here in the chapel, we say a prayer of confession, admitting to God that we have faults. We also say prayers of petition for others, prayers of healing, prayers of thanksgiving. How do we keep ourselves from being like that Pharisee and praying an empty prayer? How do we “keep it real” with God? The gospel text says that we should remain humble and not “exalt ourselves” over others or think we are so righteous. But how do we do that?
Different Christian traditions respond differently on how to “keep it real” with God. Some practices, such as centering prayer or labyrinths encourage “emptying our minds” and opening ourselves to God that way. Others feel that too much ritual impedes true communion with God and rely heavily upon spontaneous extemporaneous prayer. Both of these styles, while on the outside appearing very different, are attempting to do the same thing, evoke emotion, or perhaps evoke the Holy Spirit or even bring us to that mountaintop experience. These styles of prayer tell us to not be passive in our prayers, but to actively expose our true selves to God.
There are dozens more styles of prayer out there. In fact, for every person alive, there are that many approaches or more. How do you connect to God? When do you find yourself opening to God’s presence? Some people set up disciplines for themselves, but others don’t. It can happen during church services. I know that for me, often I feel that openness right after receiving communion. The story of Jesus moves me to feel humble and grateful and desiring God’s loving forgiveness. Other times, I just cry out for God. Although the accident was almost 10 years ago, I remember with vivid detail the milliseconds I felt my car spinning and hitting one guard rail and spinning and hitting the opposite guardrail. All I cried out was “Oh God! Oh God!” with such desperation and fear. But when I did, I felt God’s presence. At the time, I still didn’t know if I would live or die, but I knew God was with me and my fear diminished for those few moments. We don’t always feel such clear responses from God, but sometimes just risking the question, the petition is the first step towards our own journey of healing and keeping it real with God.
We in today’s society are just as guilty of thinking the prayers of a minister hold more weight than the average joe, and most especially that of a drug dealer. We trust that just by the position a minister holds, the prayers have more power. But what Jesus tells us in this parable is that in a prayer to God, it does not matter what position you hold in society, what matters is the depth of sincerity and honesty in your prayer. As we sit here in chapel today, or watching in your rooms, we participate in rituals and forms of prayer that encourage us to connect to God. I invite you to see this worship as an opportunity to open yourself to God. I also invite you to find what best suits you to be sincere and honest in your attempt to connect with God. May we continue to learn and grow through the reading and contemplation of this and other gospel readings. Amen.

Trading Places, a sermon

A Sermon on Trading Places... delivered September 30, 2007

Luke 16:19-31
'There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and who feasted sumptuously every day. And at his gate lay a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores, who longed to satisfy his hunger with what fell from the rich man's table; even the dogs would come and lick his sores. The poor man died and was carried away by the angels to be with Abraham. The rich man also died and was buried. In Hades, where he was being tormented, he looked up and saw Abraham far away with Lazarus by his side. He called out, "Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue; for I am in agony in these flames." But Abraham said, "Child, remember that during your lifetime you received your good things, and Lazarus in like manner evil things; but now he is comforted here, and you are in agony. Besides all this, between you and us a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who might want to pass from here to you cannot do so, and no one can cross from there to us." He said, "Then, father, I beg you to send him to my father's house— for I have five brothers—that he may warn them, so that they will not also come into this place of torment." Abraham replied, "They have Moses and the prophets; they should listen to them." He said, "No, father Abraham; but if someone goes to them from the dead, they will repent." He said to him, "If they do not listen to Moses and the prophets, neither will they be convinced even if someone rises from the dead." '

Trading places. We all have dreamt of it. What would it be like to live someone else’s life? Just look at the movies out there. For example, mother and daughter want to trade lives in the movie Freaky Friday… The mother asks wasn’t life easier as a teenager? No responsibilities, no worries… And the daughter thinks don’t parents have all the freedom to do whatever they want? But life is not as simple as that. Every life has its own burdens to bear, worries to preoccupy minds. Yet, even during those times we wish to live a different life, there are some lives we don’t wish for. I’ve never met anyone who wishes for a life lived in pain, loneliness or hunger. Those are things we wish to NOT have, so why would we want to think about what it’s like for the man asking for food at the busy street corner? Why would we want to think about a woman struggling for breath in her hospital bed? Why would we want to think about the family evicted from their homes with no where to go? These are not the lives we want to dream about. Well, some might say, because God tells us to… Jesus tells us to, even Paul tells us to. But let’s be honest here, do we always do what we’re told to do? I can tell you for sure I don’t, and in the story Jesus told the rich man didn’t follow Moses or the prophet’s advice very well, either. Even if I did listen to the advice of Jesus, would I even know how to begin imagining what life is like for someone living in a refugee camp in Africa or someone living in prison for a life sentence? I’m not sure I really can. Until I live in someone else’s shoes, I have no idea how hard or how joyous her life may be.
There’s a movie from the 80s some of you might remember, called Trading Places. It has Dan Aykroyd and Eddie Murphy in it. Aykroyd’s character, Louis Winthrop the Third, is a born into wealth commodities broker while Murphy’s character, Billy Ray Valentine, plays a man begging on the streets for money, pretending to be a legless war hero to improve his chances for help. At the start of the movie, the expensively dressed Louis thinks the worst of the scruffy-looking Billy Ray. When they run into each other on the sidewalk, Louis assumes Billy ray was trying to steal his briefcase, calls for the police and presses charges. All Billy Ray was guilty of was trying to help Louis stand and hand him his briefcase. The next day, because of the scheming of two men in power at Louis’ firm, Louis and Billy Ray unknowingly and unwillingly switch places. Billy Ray is offered a job in the brokerage firm and given Louis’s house to live in and servant to work for him. Louis is accused of a crime he didn’t commit, goes to jail, becomes disowned by his friends, and is forced to beg for the help of a prostitute to find a place to sleep and food to eat. I would imagine that for Billy Ray, this turn of events was a dream come true. He surely must have thought what life would be like with all that abundance around him. But did Louis ever dream of becoming accused, abandoned and hungry? Probably not.
The story Jesus shares in Luke 16 is also a story about switching places. A rich man who, after his death, lives for the first time in pain, loneliness and thirst. And a poor man who after suffering his whole life, receives the comfort of being with Abraham after death. I imagine that as long as the rich man had his wealth, he never truly considered what life would be like without his fine linen and sumptuous feasts. I know that when my cupboards are full, it’s hard for me to remember those whose cupboards are empty. When I’m at the store contemplating whether to get cheddar or Monterrey jack cheese, I’m not thinking about people who would think the leftovers starting to mold in my fridge were a feast they’d cherish. So, if we have a hard time following God and Jesus just as the rich man and his brothers had following Moses and the prophets, are we then, like the rich man, doomed to never understand how those around us may be suffering?
There is another way we are reminded of the suffering other’s may be going through. Our own life experience. When I underwent some tests for a potentially terminal condition and waited 6 months to hear a doctor say I wasn’t going to die, I began to understand what others with illnesses that are or may become terminal go through. The agony of waiting, not knowing, feeling like the doctors were giving me the run-around, when really, the doctors were waiting, just like me. And the re-occurring fear that every follow up check will reveal my problems have come back. My experience does not mean I understand everything a woman with breast cancer goes through, or a man with Parkinson’s goes through… but it does mean that I don’t ignore their struggle. It means I ask myself more carefully what it must be like in their shoes. Your life experience may not have potentially terminal diseases in it, but it does have other experiences that help you relate to the strangers you see every day. What kind of struggles do you have in your life? Struggles that make you human, make you closer to others who may appear different in every other way? Have you experienced long periods without food or showers? How about times you felt lost, scared, lonely, or hurt? How do those experiences help you relate to someone you don’t know? Are you able to ask yourself what life must be like in their shoes? I imagine you can and do.
Those moments where you can imagine what life is like for someone else separate us from Louis in Trading Places and the rich man in Jesus’ story. Compassion, caring and action, all in the name of God, through our life experience. Psalm 146 says that God gives food to the hungry, sets the prisoners free, watches over strangers. We, as children of God, are the hands of God acting in the world to do those things.
There may be great chasms dividing us. Differences in income, race, appearance, gender, age, social class DO affect how we treat one another. But we don’t have to wait til death to realize we all experience joy and sorrow, we all are human, trying to get by and be happy.
As the first letter to Timothy says, pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, gentleness. Those of us who live richly, with an abundance of food at our table, time in our lives, or energy in our bodies, let us be generous and ready to share. For perhaps, through our own struggles, we can imagine what those with diminished strength, time or energy might be going through. May God bless us on our journey together. Amen.