Isaiah 9:1-4The light casting out the darkness is a great image for how our faith in God works sometimes. God is my light and my salvation. God delivers me from the darkness and shadows haunting me. I like these images and use them often to comfort myself.
But there will be no gloom for those who were in anguish. In the former time he brought into contempt the land of Zebulun and the land of Naphtali, but in the latter time he will make glorious the way of the sea, the land beyond the Jordan, Galilee of the nations. The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who lived in a land of deep darkness— on them light has shined. You have multiplied the nation, you have increased its joy; they rejoice before you as with joy at the harvest, as people exult when dividing plunder. For the yoke of their burden, and the bar across their shoulders, the rod of their oppressor, you have broken as on the day of Midian.
Matthew 4:12-23
Now when Jesus heard that John had been arrested, he withdrew to Galilee. He left Nazareth and made his home in Capernaum by the lake, in the territory of Zebulun and Naphtali, so that what had been spoken through the prophet Isaiah might be fulfilled: ‘Land of Zebulun, land of Naphtali, on the road by the sea, across the Jordan, Galilee of the Gentiles— the people who sat in darkness have seen a great light,and for those who sat in the region and shadow of death light has dawned.’ From that time Jesus began to proclaim, ‘Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.’
But lately I’ve been wondering what is so horrible about the dark. There are times when being in the dark comforts me. With all the lights out, I can relax and focus on my breathing and my heart beat. I can think without the distraction of seeing the pile of things I need to do. In the dark, I rest when my head hurts or I am tired. In the dark I can listen better, whether music on my stereo or the words my husband is telling me. When it is dark, I can see better the lights that are dimmer or are far away from me.
What is scary to me about the darkness is what I don’t know. I don’t know what made that creaking sound in the living room. I don’t know how far I can walk before hitting my shin on the coffee table. Like many kids, I was afraid to sleep completely in the dark. With the hallway light glowing behind me, I would run from the door and make a flying leap onto my bed. I was scared there might be a man under my bed who would grab my ankle. I was afraid of what I couldn’t see but could only imagine. The darkness also feels unbearable to me when I am feeling all alone. Despite my desire to not waste energy, when I lived alone in seminary I would sometimes turn on all the lights in my apartment and turn on the television even though I wasn’t watching it… just because I had this strong realization I was alone. It is not the darkness itself that threatens us, it is the emotions that we associate with darkness that endanger us.
When our spiritual path is filled with darkness, what are we truly in danger of? When my life is going through lots of changes and hardships, what is it that casts shadows on my spirit? Just like walking in the dark, it is the fear of the unknown. I cannot see the bumps in my path, and yet like a child staring at the slightly open closet door, I imagine the worst possibilities. I am certain that there is something in the shadows waiting to get me. And when I am facing the unknown and my spirits are shaky, I can feel particularly isolated and alone.
Sometimes, we are not able to get out of the darkness right away. So much in our lives are not in our control. For better or worse, we don’t choose what family we are born into, we can’t control the craziness in society and the atrocities in the news. We don’t choose the time we are born or the time we die. We do not choose the time we get sick or lose a job. No matter how we try, we can’t always will ourselves out of the darkness. We don’t always know what to do or where to go. The unknown doesn’t always reveal itself to us just because we want it to.
How, then, do we live in the darkness? Is there a way to find rest in the dark? Is there a way to find safety and security in the dark?
As I got older, I became less and less scared to sleep in the dark. What has changed? I now trust the reality I can hear, touch and see. I trust the locks on my doors to keep out intruders and the dog to bark if a stranger is near. I know that the walls of my house are protecting me from the cold. And I avoid tripping over things in the dark by walking slowly and holding onto the doorjamb and wall as I walk. And best of all, I have a lamp next to my bed that is always within reach when I need the reassurance of light.
On our spiritual path, I trust God to protect me and guide me through the dark. I may not feel God’s presence, but I know God’s there. Just like in the dark when I cannot see the walls of my house or the locks on my door, I still know they are there. I know God is there. I lean on Jesus when I am afraid I will stumble or fall. Jesus is my touching stone in uncertain times and I know his love and wisdom will guide me when I cannot see the way. When the way is so dark and I feel so alone, prayer, worship and fellowship with my community are the lamps I turn on when I need the light of God’s lamp to reassure me. The lamp of God’s light is always there waiting for me to turn it on when I need it.
For as the psalmist says: God is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? God is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? For God will hide me in God's shelter in the day of trouble; God will conceal me under the cover of God's tent; God will set me high on a rock. May God’s light warm you and provide you comfort all your days. Amen.
