cannibals and the bible

So, i heard a horrifically funny story yesterday.

Someone I know had a pastor once who just loved and lived by the verse Micah 6:8... you know the one that says:

"What does the Lord require of you but to do justice,
love kindness, and walk humbly with your God?"

Well, this pastor decides to get the type of license plate on her car that you can chose a letter/number combo and placed her first choice as MICAH68 and then her NAME1 and her NAME2 as the 2nd and 3rd choices. Unfortunately, she did not mark the box that said "Do not change the numbers to random choices if these options are not available."

So she ended up with a license plate with random (or perhaps not so random?)numbers chosen which said MICAH33. Not knowing what that verse said, she immediately went home to check it out. This is what passage Micah 3:3 says:

"Who eat the flesh of my people, flay their skin off them,
break their bones into pieces, and chop them up
like meat in a kettle, like flesh in a cauldron."

To top it all off, this pastor is a vegetarian.

wow! talk about a lesson in the mixed messages of the bible.

sermons:coming down from the mountaintop

I've been trying to figure out how to have my sermons on here without requiring people to read through them all if they don't want to. This is when being a little more computer savvy would go a long ways. Alas, I'm just a poor seminary student whose geekiness shines through in ways other than computer know-how. So, here's a sermon I don't believe I ever preached, so I need to remember to keep it around. It's on the Ephesians text "that they may all be one" and I think on the ascension... maybe...

"That they may be one" is the passage on the UCC logo and yet, I don't think I ever took the time to find out which text it was from before. So, today as I'm looking at the lectionary passage for the day I preach at the church i'm hoping will license me as a lay pastor... THERE IT IS!!!

This past year has been a test or lesson on why I am UCC to the heart... why I am no longer Lutheran... and why, ultimately, there isn't much difference between the two. I'm going to school to learn how to pull out the tiny threads of differences in beliefs, to draw out the nuances of people's perspectives and discover multiple layers in every thought, word and deed of the church and its people. Then they give us tools to weave it all back together again, seeing the unity of all things, the similarities that connect us all to God. Through all this, the seminary helps us see a world made up of a kaleidescope of beliefs and experiences. And, then, when the professors have thoroughly turned our world upside down, made us dizzy with 4 syllable words and reeling from thousands of pages of reading, they pick us back up again, brush us off and say "Haha! Just kidding! Go back to your everyday life, go back to doing dishes and walking the dog... your mountaintop experience is over."

It's quite a let down sometimes, let me tell you! Here I am, on a roll, writing page after page of theological jargon, getting into the discussions on soteriology, ecclesiology, eschatology and every other kind of -ology... and then bam! Back to the real world.

I imagine that is what the apostles felt like when the resurrected Christ left them, finally ascending into heaven. First their world is turned uspide down by this man drawing them away from their fishing boats and other jobs, telling them the world is not as it seems...revealing the richness and beauty of faith in God. Then their leader, no, actually not just a leader, their Lord, their messiah, is executed by the government. Talk about a shock to the system. They think the mountaintop experience is over, time to go home... but WAIT! Christ resurrects from the dead, renewing and energizing their faith in him and his work in the world. The mountaintop experience is even more revealing, even more profound. This time, Jesus is more pointed about what they are to do, preparing them for when he leaves them again, ascending into heaven. Imagine the disappoint they must have felt to see Jesus rise up and leave... watching the incarnation, the inspiration of all that God is, go away... again.
Personally, I'd want to follow Jesus, leave all the trials and tribulations of this world behind. After all that talk of how wonderful being with his Father is compared to our world... Buy me a ticket, I'm going to paradise. It's like watching all your friends go to the Bahamas for Christmas, why aren't you taking me, Jesus?

But some of the scriptures read today tells us why. There is still work to be done. We are to be witnesses to the ends of the earth of what God has done through Christ. We are to continue the ministry Jesus began, reflecting God's love and grace to all the peoples. Easier said than done, boy, I tell you! I'm still looking over my shoulder, pining away for heaven, for those glimpses in my life of the resurrected Christ. The apostles were a bit stubborn about it too. In fact, angels had to come and tell them to get off their rear ends and get to work. They asked them: "Why do you stand looking up toward heaven?"

Now I'm a person that really likes to daydream, I like to stand, or sit, or lie around looking towards heaven, thinking about who God is, who I am, what tomorrow may bring. My mom, on the other hand, is a pretty practical person. I heard the other day the quote from Ben Frankiln that says don't put off doing something tomorrow when you can do it today. And I immediately thought of my mom and I. Busy, busy ,busy even when she's havng fun. It takes a lot to get my mom to sit down sometimes. And sometimes, it's just the opposite for me. :) It's not laziness. I'm a busy person, too, really, I am. Many days I leave my house near sunrise and get back 12, 14, 18 hours later. But, here's some examples: In her spare time, Mom likes to garden. In mine, I like to learn how the garden grows. Mom does Tae Bo, I do martial arts to learn the history and theories behind the moves. Mom reads mystery/crime suspense books and I read science fiction and fantasy. While we both are movie junkies, I also like watching those artsy flicks nobody can ever figure out. Mom became a lawyer and I am becoming a minister. There's nothing wrong with how either of us goes about things. The world needs people like my mom and I believe the world needs people like me too. But sometimes, when I'm stuck staring at the clouds, looking for heaven, I need someone like my mom to bring me back to earth and tell me to do the dishes. And sometimes, when my mom is doing the dishes, she needs someone to tell her sit down and read a book.

The messages in the scritpure read today are telling us to both slow down, pay attention to God, hand over our burdens to God and to also get off the couch and bring some of God's kingdom to the people around us. Nothing like a well-balanced lectionary to start the day off with... :)

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My sunshine has come...

I have found my anthem for this year... from an older Angie Stone CD I hadn't listened to in a very long while. It's funny how I never really noticed the lyrics before... now they mean something more I guess.

Artist: Angie Stone
Song: No more rain (in this cloud)
Album: Black Diamond
link to CD


Chorus:
My sunshine has come
And I'm all cried out
And there's no more rain in this cloud

There's no hiding place
When someone has hurt you
It's written on your face, and it reads
"Broken spirit, lost and confused"
"Empty, scared, used and abused, a fool"
Oh, ain't it funny that the way you feel
Shows on your face... Chorus

So you want to live and to you I shall give
All the space that you requested
Hope you don't live to regret it
So you say you're in your prime
Baby, don't waste your time
Remember my love, it's only a thin line
(It's never too late)... Chorus

Spring has come and winter's gone, my love
But don't look around for me, child
I'll be gone (I'll be gone, gone, gone, gone)
Not afraid because the seasons have changed
I'm gonna count my blessing then just follow the sun
Cuz you see... Chorus

(It's written all over your face, yeah)
And the smile you used to wear
Seems a little bit out of place
(Tracks of your tears)
People oh, hold on
In time it gets a little better, whoa... Chorus

Any Surprises Here?

OK, I swear I will stop putting all the tests I'm taking on here, but here is one more... my political tendencies...

You are a Social Liberal (76% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (8% permissive) You are best described as a: Socialist Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

The Apiru Champion

So, I'm on a test taking kick these days. I took the myers-briggs again... no changes, still an ENFP. I've been thinking about ANE (ancient near east) culture and stuff all day. There's so many parallels to back then to today. So, as an advocate for the underdog, I have named myself the Apiru (pre-Hebrew)Champion!!!!

ENFP===The Champion
You scored 54% I to E, 15% N to S, 33% F to T, and 63% J to P!
Your type is known as the Champion type, which is part of the larger group called idealists. Nothing occurs that does not have some deep and ethical significance in your eyes. You see life as an exciting drama. You are very charismatic, yet tend to be too harsh on yourself for not being as genuine as you think you should be. 3% of the population shares your type.
As a romantic partner, you need to talk about what is going on in your life. You are a strong supporter for your partner's efforts to grow and change and be happy. You need to feel that same support from your partner. Expressive, optimistic, and curious, you are eager to enjoy new experiences with your partner, whom you wish to be your confidant and soul mate, as well as play mate. You are uncomfortable sharing negative emotion, though, and tend to withdraw from confrontation and process your feelings privately. You feel most loved when your partner appreciates your creativity, accepts your uniqueness, and sees you as the compassionate person you are. You need to hear your partner tell you how much you mean to them and would love if they did thoughtful spontaneous things to demonstrate it.
Your group summary: idealists (NF)
Your type summary: ENFP

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 53% on I to E

You scored higher than 11% on N to S

You scored higher than 43% on F to T

You scored higher than 75% on J to P

I am the Reincarnation of Mother Teresa... wait, I'm too old

So, I ran across all these online tests I took a year ago from Tickle.com. Some interesting stuff. Here's my Enneagram results...

Regan, you're a Type 2 - The Humanitarian

Friends, family, and colleagues probably appreciate your caring and generous
nature. They're also apt to know that when they come to you with a problem,
you'll usually offer a shoulder to cry on and unparalleled compassion. As a
Humanitarian, you're likely to be seen as a loving and helpful person with a
kind heart.Being a member of this type puts you in good company. Mother Teresa,
with her tireless devotion to aid the sick and destitute members of society, and
Bishop Desmond Tutu, with his emphasis on nonviolent protest against racial
injustices, are also Type 2sThis means that compared to the eight other
Enneagram types, you have a strong sense of empathy for other people. In fact,
you're the kind of warm, sincere person who can be uniquely capable of seeing
the good in others.

Well, that's me to a tee... okay, maybe on a good day... actually, it's probably only true right after I ate a good piece of chocolate. Which means any future children I may someday have will want to invest in bulk. ;)

Headline: Treehuggers delay coming of Christ

So, I'm reading a plethora of articles and books in preparation for writing my paper on Christian Environmental Ethics, but have a found a particularly juicy book of essays by evangelical Christians called The Care of Creation. In an essay on eschatology (for some meaning end times, armageddon, return of Christ, etc.) a professor at a bible college responds to his students' relevant question....

"If the end of history will involve the annihilation of creation, does
not Christian involvement in green issues serve to delay the Lord's
return?"

SIGH. I always knew this thought was lurking in the back of some people's brains. Probably the same people who see the recent hurricanes as a sign of an immanent armageddon. The author of the essay does give a provocative argument using none other than Jurgen Moltmann's theology of hope (saying that creation transforms daily towards the promised future kingdom of God) combined with Paul's call to use our spiritual gifts for today's problems.

UCC or bust

So, today I was browsing some of my classmate's blogs and pondering how little I ponder on the importance of my denominational affiliation. Why, after 5 years of membership in the United Church of Christ, does this collection of God's people still fit me so well?

In my web wandering, I came upon this article from last December and a response to the response of our national ad campaign. The Compassion of the Christ. It sums it up pretty well... in a round about way... the only way the UCC does stuff, you know.

I'll think about this stuff some more and write about it later....

Dog breath and leg cramps

I just got back from a late night walk with my buddy Becky. Now that the weather is cooling off and we are both back into trying to be healthy, we're getting back into the habit of walking. It's been a bit painful for me. My leg with the bum knee (from the black belt test) has been cramping up in the calves/ankle/arch, esp uphill. Stretching will help for a little bit and I think just keeping on plugging away and it will decrease.

But my previous post about cool fall weather? Scratch that. It's muggier than bad dog breath out there and I'm drenched. UGH. Don't care if it's not 100 degrees out, it's still icky and I wish it'd stop!!!

I've been doing well with focusing on being healthy and not on the losing weight thing, but this weekend has been esp. hard on the morale. A good friend has been doing the low-carb thing for a few weeks now and has lost 15 pounds. Another has a personal trainer and has some kind of weird diet restrictions and is melting away the pounds too. I keep on telling myself that rapid weight loss is not my goal. I do NOT want to be a yo-yo dieter my whole life. And drastically changing my eating habits has not been successful for me in the past, I just quit when life gets tough. And focusing on making healthier choices in stead of measuring and counting may mean it's slower going, but is really making a positive difference in my mood, attitude and overall sense of well-being. Who exactly am I preaching to? Moi. I thought so.

Had a full day at church today. From 8:15am to 8pm with a 2 hour break in the middle. It was a pretty good day, anyway, but I'm pooped. Off to bed.